I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
