I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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