People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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