If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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