i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
