Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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