Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
