my phone needs a breathalizer
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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