We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
