literally had 100 drinks last night.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
