im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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