I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
