Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
