forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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