This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I want a musical about memes.
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