I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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