Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
