have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
