someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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