Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
