my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
