Me. At least after what I've been through.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
