Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
