Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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