I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she looked like the before picture.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
