i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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