I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
