it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
