she looked like the bat from fern gully.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
