i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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