she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
