took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
