i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I have fence marks all over my body
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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