He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
