i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
