i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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