We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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