My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
