i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
