We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
