He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
