I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
