What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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