i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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