It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
