her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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