i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
