evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
