My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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