i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
FUCK WHALES
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
